i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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