It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
