Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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