There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
