oh god the rape fog is back!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
