Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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