she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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