I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
