and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
