i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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