Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
There r osticjed everywhere
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
