What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
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I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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