1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
