sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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