I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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