Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
