if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
