I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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