I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
