There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
