my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
