im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
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i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
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I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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