Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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