don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
