im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Dicks are not precious.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
