so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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