Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
