he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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