i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My penis needs a shock collar
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
The adults are the big ones right?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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