i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
