He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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