I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you mean i was at the winter classic?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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