Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize