That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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