Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize