How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
