My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
