im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize