One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
