We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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