my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
