she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
