just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
