I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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