Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable