So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused