You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT