Can Purell be used as lube?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.