Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
