i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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