he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
