she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
