I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
