My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
