i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
