Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
