this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Ladies don't puke and tell
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
