i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
