chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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