we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize