plz talk dirty to me
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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